my baby boy

I have so much I could blog about...like the last 6 months for example, but I'm not going to. Today, I am blogging about my baby boy. He is the sweetest little chunk of a baby. I love him and am so thankful to have him in our home. My pregnancy was miserable and the first few months he was here were too. Now that the reflux is under control and we are both getting sleep, life is better and filled with fat little legs, beautiful blue eyes, and the most precious smiles you have ever seen. He is the happiest and most easy going of all of our kids. Nothing upsets him...not even a 2 year old who is taking things from him. He loves his older brother and sisters and his eyes fill with wonder when he watches them play. He has the best laugh and we hear it often.

To be honest, I wasn't very excited when I found out I was pregnant with him...4 kids in 4.5 years? The last two only 17 months apart? How was I going to handle it? I actually didn't handle it...not very well. My body decided it couldn't take anymore and stopped working properly. My emotions didn't handle it very well either. Accepting my pregnancy and the resluting baby was definitely a process for me. I owe a huge amount of gratitude to a very merciful and understanding Father in Heaven. I know that babies are blessings...trust me. After infertility issues and treatments to get the first two here, I know babies are blessings. I also know that sometimes life doesn't turn out how you plan and sometimes, it is a blessing and it just takes a bit of time and a good amount of humility to realize it.

I can honestly say that I am thankful that Heavenly Father knows better what we need than we do. I am thankful for His plan and for His help when I don't understand or appreciate it. I am thrilled to have Clay in our family. He has definitely taken his place in our home and in my heart. I truly can't imagine our lives without him in it.

Last week Clay got sick. As the week wore on, he got more sick. On Thursday afternoon he started throwing up and had diahrrea. He stopped sleeping and cried alot. I held him for hours and tried to comfort him and keep him hydrated. Every time he threw up he would shake and look at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. I hope I never see them again. Every time he would poop, he would scream because it would literally burn him instantly. I called the Dr. on Friday and they told me what to do (which I was already doing) and what dehydration signs I needed to look for. On Sunday I noticed that he was starting to be limp. He had no interest in food or any form of liquid. He just wanted me to hold him. His eyes were sunken in and his lips were cracked. He hadn't had a wet diaper in hours. When Ben got home from church with the older kids, I took him to the emergency room. They drew some blood and hooked him up to an IV. They said they wanted to watch him for a bit before they decided to admit him.

So, we waited. Then the bloodwork came back and it said that he was severely dehydrated. We ended up staying overnight. He kept having bad diapers and he threw up a few more times. Yesterday afternoon he started to look and act a bit better. They finally let us come home last night. The whole time we were in there I held him. He wouldn't let me put him down. All I could think about was how grateful I am for modern medicine.

I just kept thinking about how hard it must have been for the pioneers to watch their babies die in their arms. This could have happened to Clay. The Dr. told me his body was in "survival mode" and not doing very well. 28 hours of IV fluids saved my son's life. I know that I was born at this time for a reason. I also know that Heavenly Father has showered tender mercies down on me and on my family. Any one of my pregnancies could have ended in disaster because of all that goes on with me while pregnant and during labor. If I had been born a hundred years ago, I would have died in childbirth and if by some miracle I survived, I would have lost atleast 2 of my children to illness. I can't imagine how a woman would be able to pick herself up and move on and continue to take care of the rest of her family. I am in awe at the strength of those who went before us and once again I am eternally grateful for the miracles that our Father in Heaven gives us each day.